One way to protect your teenager...
...is to make sure that they receive support from three or more non-parent adults. Kids need to connect. They need to have people who value them outside of their own household. Why? Because kids need a connection with others who have a different story to tell. They need to be exposed to different viewpoints. Most importantly, they need to know that there is more than one person they can turn to if they run into difficulty; that there is more than their parents who care about their well-being. Often, parents are the last people that teens want to approach when they are having trouble. They may be afraid they are letting their parents down or they may, rationally or irrationally, fear the reaction from their parents. During times like this it is nice for teens to have another person to turn to that can help them approach their parents and successfully deal with the situation.
For Parents:
Don't be afraid to let your teen have a positive relationships with other adults. Do, however, create a safety net for your teen. Know who these people are. Know their intentions. Know what activities they have with your teen. Don't be afraid to ask questions. Ask your teen about the comfort level they have with other adults. One final note: At all times know where your teen is, what they are doing, and who they are with.
For Caring Adults:
Talk to the teens around you. Take an interest in their activities. Let them know that they can come to you if they need to talk. So many teens are stereotyped as sullen, moody, and uncooperative. Remember, they are going through a difficult stage in life. They are moving into adulthood, but still need the care of their parents. Do not judge a parent. Do not criticize a parent to their teen. Develop relationships with the parent as you would with the teen. If the teen is speaking about doing something harmful to themselves, inform the teen that you must notify the parent right away. If the teen is reluctant or frightened, I usually advise that the teen and the concerned adult approach the parent together. Remember, you are not there to be the parent, you are there to be the support.
Working together we can give our teens the support they need to grow up safely. The next time you are with a teen, start a conversation. Talk about their interests and your interests. Listen without judging. Avoid clichés. Just enjoy the moment! A simple conversation can change a teenager’s life.
If you have any questions please don’t hesitate to contact me or PYC staff. You can also ask questions on our parent page at www.pyconline.com. We strive to be a knowledgeable and dependable resource for kids, teens, parents, and adults.
Meg Petri, M.Ed., LPC, LCPC, NCC
Executive Director
Progressive Youth Connection
www.pyconline.com
9530 Watson Industrial Park, Ste. A
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