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Happy, and safe, holiday tips!

Monday, December 13, 2010

Happy Holidays from Progressive Youth Connection! 


Please keep PYC in mind when giving this holiday season.  We depend on our community to keep our mission alive.  Here are a few tips to make the best out of your holidays. 

Safe Holidays: 

  1.  Don’t drink and drive.
    -The times of day with the highest number of drunk driving fatalities are midnight to 3 a.m. (28%), 9 p.m. to midnight (21%), and then 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. (16%).
    -38% of all Christmas-time car accident deaths and 54 % of all New
    Year's car accident deaths are alcohol-related.
  2. Be mindful of decorations.  Many trees, lights and holiday shrubbery can be toxic or a choking hazard.
  3. Be aware of food allergies, not only for you and your family, but also for visiting guests.
  4. Know where your children are, what they are doing and who they are with.
  5. Embrace laughter, joy, and peace.  Focus on the positives of the holiday season.
  6. Minimize stress by making schedules, budgets, and saying no when you have to.
  7. Spend quality time with your kids.  Talk with them.  Read books together.  Watch your favorite holiday movies or television shows.  Share special memories about your own childhood.  Engage!
  8. Head off drama and theatrics by setting clear expectations about spending time with the family, helping out with various tasks, and how you expect your kids to use their free time during the holiday break.  Make the consequences clear and follow through.  Once you have set these expectations take a step back.  Don’t remind or nag.  If something is not done then allow the consequence to redirect the behavior.  Remember to monitor your own behavior and model to your children how you want them to behave.
  9. Know the signs of depression.  The holidays can often trigger depression for a variety of reasons, from missing a loved one who has passed away to not feeling part of the holiday spirit.  If you notice signs of depression, ask your child how they are feeling.  Seek help if they are suffering from depressive symptoms.  Go to the hospital for a psychiatric evaluation or call 911 if there is any risk of immediate harm.
  10. Be accessible to your children.  Give them the floor to talk and listen without preaching or offering clichés.  Help them work toward solutions to their problems without rushing in to “fix things”. 

 

Happy Holidays: 

  1.  Embrace traditions
  2. Start new traditions (and scrap the tired, worn out, or aged out traditions)
  3. Celebrate your culture. 
  4. Cook together.  With supervision and depending on age, kids can do everything from prep work to cookie decoration!  It will give you the chance to talk, be creative, and encourage each other.  When kids accomplish a cooking task it not only builds confidence it improves self-esteem!
  5. Let go of the past.  Nothing ruins family time like a grudge.  Make peace with the past and move on.  Grudges are self-punishing and make you feel bad.  Focus on these steps to let go of your grudge.
    - Find the source of the grudge
    - Rationalize its impact on your life
    - Change the course of your relationship.  You can preferably restore the relationship by adjusting your attitude.  However, if the relationship is detrimental to your mental, emotional, or physical well-being; you may be better off to distance yourself. (www.mayoclinic.com)
  6. Set a budget and stick with it.  Don’t be embarrassed by how large or small your budget is.  It’s your life, it’s your budget, and it’s your business.
  7. Give your kids a budget, even if it is a dollar or less!  Help them to plan for who they want to give gifts or help out during the holidays.  Teach your children that not every gift costs money.  Artwork, letters, poems, and raking the leaves are all gifts that are inexpensive or free.
  8. Get outside!  Take your kids on a lights tour!  Visit the zoo.  Bundle up and enjoy the great outdoors.  Pack a thermos with hot chocolate.  It tastes so much better when it’s frosty outside.
  9. Dance!  Put on the music, turn it up, and dance with abandon.  This is a sure way to teach your children to be light hearted and depending on your dancing, how not to be self conscious!
  10. Take the time to send your kids a holiday card telling them what makes them special. 


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Teasing or Bullying?

Friday, October 08, 2010

Stopping Violence begins with Baby Steps

October is National Bullying Prevention Month.  It is important that we start teaching our children how to prevent bullying and what to do if they see bullying.  Through October, I will be addressing bullying through information focusing on various age groups and behaviors.  Today I would like to talk about teaching children the difference between teasing and bullying.  It is common and completely normal to tease those that we love.  But what really is teasing?  The Mirriam-Webster dictionary states that teasing is “to make fun of”.  Is that what we really do with our loved ones?  Of course not; we tease because there is a comfort zone there that allows us to make little jokes about our loved one’s idiosyncrasies without being demeaning or putting them down.  The teasing strengthens the bond and makes the two people closer.  For example, a wife asking her husband if she snores and the husband replying, “of course not, Darling, you don’t snore, you purr.”  The statement is softened in a positive way and the wife is not embarrassed or humiliated.  When you tease it should boost someone’s morale and make them feel better about themselves and comfortable with those around them.

 Children can have a difficult time understanding the concept of teasing.  The way to distinguish between the two is by the intent. The goal of teasing is to create closer relationships and make connections. The goal of bullying is to harm. Teasing turns into bullying when kids use it to gain greater social status.  (scholastic.com). 

 To help your children learn this difference, I encourage you to have a conversation about teasing and bullying. 

  • Ask your kids what they see at school, do kids tease each other? 
  • Who do they tease?  How do they tease, what do they do?
  • Do they get teased?  How are they teased?
  • Ask them how they feel when they are teased.
  • Does teasing leave them feeling embarrassed or bad?
  • Have they ever teased someone in an attempt to make the other person feel bad or to get people to laugh at that person?
  • Define bullying for your children:  Bullying is when someone repeatedly and on purpose says or does mean or hurtful things to another person who has a hard time defending himself or herself.

 Bullying does not happen by mistake.  If you become concerned after talking to your child, talk to the school and find out what is going on.  Follow-up with your child and the school to make sure that any bullying issues are resolved.  Encourage your children to come to you if they think anyone is getting their feelings hurt or if they are being physically bullied.  Model good behavior for your children by avoiding putting people down, making jokes about individuals or groups of people, and name-calling.  Focus on building people up and teaching your children to accept others in spite of the differences they may have.

 As always, if you have any concerns about the safety of your child, or any other child, address them immediately with the school.  If the threat for violence is great contact the police department.  Simple conversations as the one above can go a long way to changing the lives of our children.  Nobody should go to school in fear and it is our responsibility to ensure this.  Please visit our website at pyconline.com for more information or to contribute your comments to our parent’s page.  Thank you for your interest in the well being of our children.  Meg Petri, M.Ed., LPC, LCPC, NCC



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